and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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