We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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