I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
