moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
