Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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