why didn't you poke me back
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
