when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
