you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
