1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize