We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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