I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
