people are starting to question the shark bite story
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
