im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize