so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
