Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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