i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
