im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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