Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
