This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
