If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
