even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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