i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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