guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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