I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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