we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
