i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
