Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
