Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
