Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
