You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
