I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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