I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
