that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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