Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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