Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
