Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
