She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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