I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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