When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
