I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
