The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
