Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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