I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
