try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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