can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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