is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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