I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
