belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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