I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Fuck appropriateness.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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