Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize