im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
