Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
