Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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