Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
