so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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