Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
