Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
