just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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